Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

Supposition all our lives shall be stuck full of eyes; For treason is but trusted like the fox, Who, ne'er so tame, so cherished and locked up, Will have a wild trick of his ancestors.

Merit is often an obstacle to fortune; the reason is it produces two bad effects, envy and fear.

On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.

'T is better to be lowly born, And range with humble livers in content, Than to be perked up in a glistering grief, And wear a golden sorrow. -King Henry VIII. Act ii. Sc. 3.

Oh, I'm not going to do anything to them. The thought that I might will be enough to keep them going.

For most men Will back their own opinion is by a wager.

Where ignorance is bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise.

The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.

American prosperity and American free enterprise are both highly unusual in the world, and we should not overlook the possibility that the two are connected.

Despite everybody who has been born and has died, the world has just gone on. I mean, look at Napoleon --but we went right on. Look at Harpo Marx --the world went around, it didn't stop for a second. It's sad but true. John Kennedy, right?

O! lady, we receive but what we give, And in our life alone doth nature live; Ours is her wedding garment, ours her shroud!

High minds, of native pride and force, Most deeply feel thy pangs, Remorse; Fear, for their scourge, means villains have, Thou art the torturer of the brave!

Money is like manure. If you spread it around it does a lot of good. But if you pile it up in one place it stinks like hell.

Jest not with the two-edged sword of God's word.

Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.

I had a quintuple bypass in May. It was not Mad Cows but sane cows in my arteries.

Will urban sprawl spread so far that most people lose all touch with nature? Will the day come when the only bird a typical American child ever sees is a canary in a pet shop window? When the only wild animal he knows is a rat - glimpsed on a night drive through some city slum? When the only tree he touches is the cleverly fabricated plastic evergreen that shades his gifts on Christmas morning?

If all the misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart.

The opposition is indispensable. A good statesman, like any other sensible human being, always learns more from his opposition than from his fervent supporters.