Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who already left.

As soon as she begins to be ashamed of what she ought not, she will not be ashamed of what she ought.

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, place them in their best light.

He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.

In judging others a man laboureth in vain; he often erreth, and easily falleth into sin; but in judging and examining himself he always laboureth to good purpose.

The great leaders are like the best conductors - they reach beyond the notes to reach the magic in the players.

Talk is cheap. Words are plentiful. Deeds are precious.

Man is only miserable so far as he thinks himself so.

Here's to our beloved George Washington, the Joshua of America, who commanded the sun and the moon to sand still--and they obeyed.

A lover without discretion is no lover at all.

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.

Stone walls do not a prison make, Nor iron bars a cage, Minds innocent and quiet take That for an hermitage.

Last night the very gods showed me a vision-- I fast and prayed for their intelligence--thus: I saw Jove's bird, the Roman eagle, winged From the spongy south to this part of the west, There vanished in the sunbeams; which portends, Unless my sins abuse my divination, Success to th' Roman host.

A good history covers not only what was done, but the thought that went into the action. You can read the history of a country through its actions.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.

All inquires carry with them some element of risk. There is no guarantee that the universe will conform to our predispositions.

Now the noisy winds are still; April's coming up the hill! All the spring is in her train, Led by shining ranks of rain; Pit, pat, patter, clatter, Sudden sun and clatter patter! . . . . All things ready with a will, April's coming up the hill!

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.

"Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast," And therefore proper at a sheriff's feast.