I'm from Missouri; you must show me.

This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.

Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you ought.

Conciseness is the sister of talent.

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.

Father of his country.

There goes the parson, oh illustrious spark! And there, scarce less illustrious, goes the clerk.

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

God loves you right where you are but he doesn't want to leave you there.

Who is so deafe, as he that will not hear?

A sensual and intemperate youth hands over a worn-out body to old age.

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody--it saves so much trouble.

Those that are evil have not only the good against them, but also the bad.

God gives not kings the stile of Gods in vaine, For on his throne his sceptre do they sway; And as their subjects ought them to obey, So kings should feare and serve their God againe.

It is a madness to make fortune the mistress of events, because in herself she is nothing, but is ruled by prudence.

If you can't say something nice, become a reporter.

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

Commemoration of Ini Kopuria, Founder of the Melanesian Brotherhood, 1945 It is easy to criticise the many failings of the Church; it is all too easy to criticise the lives of those who profess and call themselves Christians; but I should say that it is almost impossible to read the Gospels thoroughly with adult, serious attention and then dismiss the central Figure as a mere human prophet or a tragic idealist. The reaction to such a study may indeed prove to be conversion or open hostility, but it would at least mean the end of childish and ill-informed attacks upon what is supposed to be the Christian religion.