A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

I can not dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.

Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.

You call me misbeliever, cut-throat dog, And spit upon my Jewish gaberdine. -The Merchant of Venice. Act i. Sc. 3.

As I was going up the stairI met a man who wasn't thereHe wasn't there again todayI wish, I wish he'd stay away. - The Psychoed.

You know you've achieved perfection in design, Not when you have nothing more to add, But when you have nothing more to take away.

By reading the scriptures I am so renewed that all nature seems renewed around me and with me. The sky seems to be a pure, a cooler blue, the trees a deeper green. The whole world is charged with the glory of God and I feel fire and music under my feet.

Truth is immortal; error is mortal.

Auribus teneo lupum I have the wolf by the ears

We know no spectacle so ridiculous as the British public in one of its periodical fits of morality.

A line runs from the meditations of the heart to the words of the mouth. The meditations are not clear to us until the mouth utters its words. If what the mouth utters is unclear or foolish or mendacious, it must be that the meditations are the same. But the line runs both ways. The words of the mouth will become the meditations of the heart, and the habit of loose talk loosens the fastenings of our understanding.

Jane borrow'd maxims from a doubting school, And took for truth the test of ridicule; Lucy saw no such virtue in a jest, Truth was with her of ridicule the test.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

To be no part of any body, is to be nothing.

Golf is very much like a love affair, if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. Don't break your heart, but flirt with the possibility.

Nothing lowers the level on conversation more than raising the voice.

Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory.

Rigid judgmental opinions can block descent of Spirit's pinions.

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.